‘Grass takes a lot more care than a beard’

Bryan O’Keefe, the turf guy of Helensburgh, shared mowing secrets with Iris Huizinga

According to Bryan O’Keefe, people might start throwing things at him, so he doesn’t start up his mower at 6am. The 61-year-old has been the greenkeeper at Helensburgh for the past 17 years and he says he loves it. His official title is “turf horticulturalist”.

Instead of the loud mower, he begins his day of his own accord with a rubbish run, picking up all the stuff lying around. “If you keep a place clean, it stays clean” is his comment.

What is a turf horticulturalist?

Bryan: The main part of my job is [looking after] the cricket pitch. That is the number one priority, then everything else: Charles Harper park, everything around it, the footy, the soccer, all around the bus stop.

What’s the difference between turf and grass?

Bryan: Everyone’s got grass at home, but not everyone’s got turf. [The Helensburgh cricket pitch is] Santa Anna couch. It’s not your run-of-the-mill backyard stuff. It’s a different thing altogether. What they play on at the SCG is exactly what we have here in Helensburgh: Santa Anna couch.

What is your tip for the lawn in the backyard?

Bryan: The most common mistake is cutting the grass too low. That encourages weeds. I cut my front yard outside on number five on the mower.
I cut my backyard on the highest setting possible. The more you cut it, the finer it becomes. You get your height right and you keep cutting at that height. You can train it.

About the beard

Bryan: This bloke told me he had been trying to grow a beard for years, but he couldn’t get over the itch. You’ve got to get over that. I went to [high school at] St Paul’s in Bellambi, now Holy Spirit. First thing every morning, one of the priests would pull me up: ‘Master O’Keefe, you need to have a shave’. To which I would say: ‘Well, Father, it is my chin, if there is hair growing on it, there is hair growing on it.’ We would have the same conversation the next morning and the next morning. The whole lot of us didn’t shave, we had a bit of a rebellious streak.

Is a beard like a lawn?

Bryan: No, grass takes a lot more care. Some blokes put all this fancy stuff in their beards these days. I’ll just run the brush through it in the morning and that’s it.