When Linda O’Neill lost her husband Michael earlier this year, she struggled with even the simplest tasks.
The two had been inseparable – her soulmate, she calls him – and when Michael died just six days before what would have been their 20th wedding anniversary, Linda withdrew into herself.
“I’m an introvert anyway,” she says. “But I became more introverted. I stayed at home. Just getting up and breathing was hard enough.”
Linda didn’t go near her beloved Thirroul Women’s Bowls Club for nearly six weeks. But the other women were still there, sending flowers and checking in every now and then.
They gave her all the space she needed while reminding her she wasn’t alone.
“They were like a big blanket around me,” she says. “When I came back, I just felt that hug. Not so much in words or in cuddles, but just looks and I knew they had my back.”
Linda, 67, is one of the club’s vice-presidents. She joined about a decade ago after finishing up as a flight attendant with Qantas.
A former runner and basketballer, she had developed bad knees and was looking for something that offered low-impact exercise, mental focus and female friendship. At Club Thirroul, she found all three.
It’s a familiar story at the club, where newcomers drop in for Friendship Days – relaxed, social mornings where they can try the game of bowls and meet the players – and often become long-time members. Fellow vice-president Anne Clarke, 66, says the regular events have helped the club become one of the biggest women’s bowling groups in the region.
“We had six new ladies turn up last time,” says Anne, a retired NSW Police chief inspector who joined the club after attending a Friendship Day herself seven years ago.
“We pair new people with experienced players, have a few games, then head inside for lunch. There’s no pressure – they can turn up and play, or just turn up and not play.”
Most of the members are over 60, some still working, others newly or long retired. Some are former golfers looking for something less taxing on the body; others are simply searching for connection.
“I know that in some groups of women, there can be a bit of bitchiness, but that doesn’t exist in this club,” Linda says.
“They're totally supportive, very encouraging, very welcoming. They're not judgmental, and they're very nurturing.”
'I'm proud of myself'
That inclusive, supportive approach is necessary in a game that can be deceptively tricky at first.
“Bowls is a very complex game, and you can’t learn bowls in one session,” Linda says.
“It’s something that takes time. I’m still learning and I’ve been doing it for 10 years. There’ll be bowlers out there who’ve been bowling for 30 years and they’re still learning things.
“You’ve got to be able to read the green. You’ve got to get the right length, which is called weight, and the right grass, which is the curve of the bowl. It’s not an easy thing to do, I’ll tell you.
“You watch bowlers on television – really top bowlers – and they still get it wrong. One of the girls said to me, ‘One day you’re a rooster, the next day you’re a feather duster.’ That always made me laugh.”
Anne agrees that bowls is a game that can take years to perfect, which for her is part of the appeal.
“It looks easy, but to be consistent is very hard,” she says. “But that moment when the bowl lands right on the kitty – it’s a great feeling and keeps you coming back.”
Thirroul’s women bowlers are known for their strength on the green. They field up to 45 players each Thursday, took out the pennant last year and regularly compete at state level.
Linda, who still works part-time at Bunnings, can only play once a week, but she holds her own. Just weeks after returning from bereavement leave, she and her brother-in-law placed second in a major club competition.
“We ended up coming runners-up in the next pairs, so from the moment I stepped back into the club, I was into it again,” Linda says.
“It was really good for me because I had to be responsible – I was part of a team, and I had to give it my all and play to the best of my abilities. It really made me focus.
"I’m proud of myself for being able to get to the final.”
More than just bowls
It’s been less than five months since Linda and Michael arrived on holiday at Pacific Palms, where he fell down five stairs, breaking several ribs and puncturing his only good lung.
Michael, 63, had been living with chronic pulmonary hypertension, a condition that left him breathless after walking just 20 metres.
Within days, surrounded by family, he passed away in hospital in Port Macquarie.
“He was so well-respected and well-loved, the funeral was standing room only,” Linda says. “There are still people who come up to me and say, ‘I can’t believe he’s gone’.”
Michael, a real estate agent, had supported the club as a sponsor in its early years. He never played competitively but encouraged Linda’s growing involvement – first as a player, then a selector, a publicity officer and now vice-president alongside Anne.
In that role, the women have helped steer Club Thirroul through some tough times. Founded in 1933, the club underwent a major renovation in 2004 but came within weeks of financial collapse several years ago.
A Ryde-Eastwood Leagues merger saved it from closure and helped inject new life into the place with renovations, functions and renewed support for bowls (including new uniforms).
“There was a time we were on skid row,” Linda says. “But Ryde-Eastwood was a godsend. Now we’ve got an alfresco dining area, functions, birthday parties, barefoot bowls. The club’s thriving.”
That revival has brought in an influx of new players, and the club is working to attract even more, including school-aged kids through a new partnership with Bowls NSW.
Both Linda and Anne will tell them Thirroul Women’s Bowls Club is more than just an ordinary group.
“Once you’re part of this club, you’re family,” Linda says. “It’s not just about bowls. It’s about knowing someone’s got your back when you need it most.”
Friendship Days are held every Thursday at Club Thirroul, 2B Station Street, Thirroul. Contact Anne Clarke for more information on 0439 665 010.
