How to tell if your teen is struggling

By clinical psychologist Courtney Rudd

As a psychologist specialising in adolescent mental health, I spend all day inside the brains of teenagers. One common question parents or carers ask is: “What’s the difference between normal adolescent behaviour and mental ill health? How do I know when to call for help?”

It’s a hard one to answer because, as most parents would know, adolescent angst comes in many different and rapidly changing forms. The truth is, puberty and mental health issues do overlap, so sometimes it’s both. But there are some markers that help us identify what’s what. The good news is parents are experts on their own children, so it’s likely you already know the answers.

• Is there a marked difference in behaviour from their normal?  Does the concerning behaviour show a definite change, sustained over time? Is there a change in general disposition? For example, were they extroverted, but now slow-to-warm?

• Is the behaviour happening across contexts? For example, they might not want to hang out with parents as much anymore (parents are lame!), but do they also not want to see their friends? Do they not want to play the sport they always loved?

• Are there sudden changes in the basics (sleep, appetite, weight)?  Adolescence is a time of rapid growth – they should be craving sleep/hard to wake, eating you out of house and home, and gaining weight as they grow. Think of the growth chart in their blue book, they should be following their growth curves.

• Are you seeing expressions of distress or behaviours that appear out of proportion relative to other teenagers?  Most parents fall into the trap of comparing against an adult norm. Instead, think of older siblings, were they doing this when they were 14? Would they have reacted the same way to a similar situation?

If you’re coming up with some yes answers to these questions, then it might be time to check in with your teenager. Have a chat with your GP about your concerns and, if warranted, they can direct you to the help your child needs.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Courtney Rudd is a clinical psychologist who specialises in supporting young people with a range of mental health issues. She has a particular interest in adolescent eating disorders. Courtney provides youth mental health services to the Northern Illawarra through Equilibrium Healthcare in Helensburgh. Courtney is a keen runner and swimmer who loves reading and live music.