By clinical psychologist Dr Marianne Bourke
As a clinical psychologist, I’ve sat with numerous parents – mums and dads doing their best to raise kind, resilient kids in a rapidly changing world. Many share the same concern: “My daughter’s always anxious,” one says. Another parent despairs: “My son won’t put his phone down. He says he’s ‘fine', but he’s not sleeping.”
Quietly, the question forms: is social media making our kids sick?
The short answer? In many cases – yes, it’s contributing. But the fuller answer is more complex and needs curiosity, not fear.
Australia’s new Online Safety Amendment (Social Media Minimum Age) Act 2024 will require, from December 2025, that platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Facebook, Reddit, and X prevent users under 16 from having accounts. Companies that fail could face penalties up to $49.5 million.
It’s a bold step aimed at reducing youth exposure to online environments linked with anxiety, depression, and poor sleep. But here’s where I offer a clinical view – not to undermine the policy, but to deepen the discussion.
Anxiety among young people is rising. A 2023 report from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare found 1 in 7 children aged 4 to 17 met criteria for a mental health disorder, with anxiety being the most common. Digital overload, poor sleep, and constant comparison all chip away at self-esteem. Many teens feel they can’t switch off. They’re online late, caught in group chats, refreshing feeds, worrying about who’s left them on read. Their nervous systems stay on high alert.
A major reason? Dopamine – the brain’s reward chemical. Each like, follow, or alert delivers a dopamine hit. Social media platforms are engineered around this, using unpredictable rewards to keep users hooked. For teens, whose brains are still developing, it can disturb emotional regulation, focus, and impulse control.
But this isn’t just a teenager problem. Adults are susceptible too. How often do we check our phones just to feel a moment of satisfaction or avoid discomfort? We’re all part of this feedback loop.
But as tempting as it is to say we must remove social media and call it solved, the reality is that bans alone won’t teach our kids how to navigate the digital world—they’ll just teach them how to avoid detection.
A legal age limit gives parents backup: “Sorry, it’s the law.” But it can also send the message that social media itself is the problem, or worse – that kids are. Neither is accurate.
Children need education and skills. They need to understand how platforms work, how their brains respond, and how to make healthy choices online. They need to know how to pause, think, and opt out. And they need adults to model this. If we want young people to use tech wisely, we need to show them how—by putting our own phones down and engaging with the world around us.
Parents often ask, “Should I delete everything?” My reply: What’s the plan long-term? Because one way or another, they will have access. Whether it’s at 16, 18, or next time they’re at a friend’s house, social media will be part of their world. If they haven’t learned how to use it thoughtfully by then, the risks only grow.
Instead of blanket bans, let’s teach digital literacy in schools. Let’s have real conversations at home. Let’s help young people recognise the difference between connection and comparison, entertainment and avoidance.
Yes, limits make sense. Younger kids need boundaries. Screen-free nights matter. Riskier platforms can be delayed. But these rules work best when paired with education, empathy and connection.
And let’s not forget – social media isn’t all bad. It can be a space for expression, connection, creativity, and identity-building. For many kids, especially those in rural areas or feeling alone, it can be a lifeline. The aim isn’t to erase screens from childhood. That ship has sailed. The goal is to raise a generation that’s emotionally literate, digitally aware, and confident enough to unplug when needed.
If we want to protect our kids from anxiety, let’s not just take away the tech. Let’s teach them how to live well alongside it. Because in the end, we can’t fence the ocean. But we can prepare our children to swim safely in it.
References
- Australian Government. (2024). Online Safety Amendment (Social Media Minimum Age) Act 2024
- Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2023). Mental health services in Australia – Children and adolescents
About the writer
Dr Marianne Bourke is a Clinical Psychologist with over 15 years’ experience spanning private practice, research, and postgraduate education. With advanced training in the treatment of patients with complex needs, her PhD focused on complexities of working with people with borderline personality disorder. Her findings have been presented at international conferences and published in peer-reviewed journals. Marianne has delivered psychological services across hospital, trauma, university, and community settings. Now in private practice, Marianne’s mission is to make high-quality, evidence-based mental health care accessible and practical.
To find out more, visit her website, email admin@illawarraclinicalpsychology.com.au or phone/text 0437 476 773.
