Parenting and Partnering: It's a fine balance

Ah, the joys of parenting and partnering. My relationship with my partner of 17 (or is it 18?) years is equal parts love, chaos and a dash of sleep deprivation. We swing from dirty nappies to date nights to the occasional temper tantrum (and I’m not just talking about the kids) in a matter of minutes. So, how do you find the romance when you’re knee-deep in toddlers?

Gone are the days of lengthy philosophical debates and spontaneous getaways. Now, it's all instructions, life logistic discussions and being interrupted at every. Single. Moment.

We have formed our own secret language. Not as romantic as you think. We spell words out that we don’t want the kids to hear like where is the C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E, pronounce words incorrectly based on how our two-year-old does like a mibusa (muesli bar) or a secret signal when one of us needs a break. More out of necessity than sweet gestures.

7pm is a sacred time in my house. The kids are (hopefully) asleep and we have a small window of freedom. You’d think we’d hurry away to chat about adult things on the couch together but mostly we are so tapped out we either watch a quick TV episode or go to separate rooms. A gal just likes to be on her own after being talked to and touched all day.

We barely go on date nights anymore. Not only are we feeling the pinch of the rising cost of living but the logistics just to get out of the house feel too daunting to organise.

Sometimes it can feel like we’re just roommates. But every so often you get those moments when you connect. Remember who you were before. And it is nice. So go grab your partner's hand, give it a squeeze, take a deep breath together, and let the show go on. We’ll be out of this fog soon.