Unwrapping disappointment
I’m going to suggest that it's important for kids to, at one point, be disappointed by Christmas gifts
As my kids have grown older and are entering their double-digits, I’ve found buying Christmas gifts for them increasingly trickier and/or more expensive.
Although it doesn’t feel like it, in a way, this is a very privileged place to be (or at least it is for my kids!). We’re lucky enough to be able to provide them with all of their needs and with plenty of wants.
I think I’m not the only parent out there who cringes at the idea of another object (i.e. consumer good) added to the treasure trove of objects already in their room (and/or our house) that will likely remain untouched for much of its presence in the familial space and then likely thrown out. Jettisoned hopefully to someone who will play with it more frequently or – worst-case scenario (and the more likely one) – discarded into landfill.
Of course, there are the activity gifts that are a much better option but they just don’t look as great under a Christmas tree unless you do the box within a box within a box and still they can feel somewhat unfulfilling because somehow we want the immediate tangibility an object provides.
It may seem a difficult thing to digest but I’m going to suggest that it's important for kids to, at one point, be disappointed by Christmas gifts, whether that be in the form of an activity gift or just something that they didn’t really want.
I recall back when I was a young ’un, my parents had left buying presents for us kids to the last minute. At the ripe old age of 7, I received a shaving pack of toiletries, a towel, and a cheap wristwatch. I’ve not been clean shaven or punctual since! It wasn’t until later that I found out Mum and Dad were busy nursing my Grandfather through his last bouts of cancer therapy and had lost track of time until the only thing open on Christmas Eve was the late-night chemist. One of the Christmases I’ll never forget and now I have a little tale to tell of expectations not being met.
I’m not a religious person, at least not in the traditional sense of attending an organised congregation on a regular basis and praying to God. I do however see the merits of the bonding/community nature of religions. While my kids still have expectations for Christmas gifts, I’m quick to remind them that it’s not the festival of receiving but of giving.
Every year there are many people doing it tough at Christmas time. There are so many great local charities to support. One of those was our charity festival partner of the Illawarra Festival of Architecture & Design 2025 – The Illawarra Women’s Trauma Recovery Centre, designed by IFAD curator Margie Rahmann.
We helped to raise more than $500 this year at our charity event but they can always do with some more support, so if you want to intentionally disappoint one of your young ’uns this year, buy them a gift that keeps on giving here.
And, this wouldn’t be an architecture article if I didn’t add some thoughtful architecture-inspired gift ideas for those inspiring young Frank Lloyd Wrights out there who need to roll their eyes at some inspiring architecture.
My top tips list below.
- Sydney Architecture Walks sell vouchers to their excellent walks/bike rides.
- As does the Australian Architecture Association
- Or if you want to just explore the Opera House
- For the little tykes there is, of course, Lego but get the recycled variety
- And a repost from previous years, these are the toys that helped Frank Lloyd Wright develop an early interest in architecture and design.
Wishing all Flame readers a wonderful festive season. My top tip for 2026 – get out there and experience more of the wide world of Architecture!
