Dying to Know over dinner

By Katie Hodgkinson, Marketing & Community Manager at H.Parsons

I have just organised a dinner party with my family, in August, with an instruction to be prepared to talk about our end-of-life plans.

I’m the eldest sister, so my siblings are used to being bossed around but this suggestion did get a few colourful objections and one panicked question: “Is there something you’re trying to tell us?”

No, I’m not dying. No more than I was yesterday anyway. But I am taking advantage of Dying to Know Day (8th August), an initiative of The Groundswell Project that aims to “reshape the way Australians approach death, dying and end of life planning”.

This year all Australians are being encouraged to have conversations geared towards being better prepared for end-of-life. From practical life-admin such as wills, to the kind of send-off we would want. After all, shouldn’t our death represent what mattered to us most in life? How can our family know that we want to be buried in a surfboard-shaped coffin if we don’t tell them?

I’d like to share my thoughts on why getting comfortable talking about death is important to me, in the hope that by doing so, you too might come to fear dying less. You see, I want to continue to live a good life and I’ve decided that I can’t do that if I’m fearing death. Also, when my parents die, I want to celebrate the full and interesting lives they lived, not curse them for leaving me with a mountain of paperwork and arguing with my siblings about what music to play at Mum’s final farewell.

As Hamlet said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Well, I can’t change the fact that I will die one day, so I’m changing my thinking instead. From this day forward, death need not be scary. Instead of allowing death to conjure negative images, I’m going to imagine a … cheerleader!

Imagine, your own personal cheerleader cheering you on as you approach the finishing line, “You did it! Great job – you lived well.” And like the life-athlete that you are, you are also well prepared for what happens after the main event. Well prepared for you and well prepared for your family, with all documents done and no anguish over funeral planning.

I invite you to have a look at the Dying to Know Day website for guidance on how to have end of life discussions with people you love. If you are dying to know anything to do with cremations, mortuary care or funerals, H.Parsons is opening their doors to the Illawarra community on the 28th August. Details and tour bookings can be found at the events page at our website.

H.Parsons has chapels in Bulli, Wollongong, Warilla and Dapto. Phone 4228 9622 or visit hparsons.com.au