My relationship with exercise and body image

I recently listened to a podcast episode of The Imperfects (if you haven’t listened, please do!) with Chrissie Swan, and she expressed something that I’ve always felt but I’ve never been able to articulate. She said – and I am paraphrasing – that her relationship with exercise was always skewed because as a ‘bigger bodied’ girl and woman, doing exercise felt like a punishment. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head.

I could relate to her sentiments entirely.

I’ve never had a ‘thin’ body and my weight is always fluctuating, particularly since I birthed three children in the space of five years. I never prioritised exercise or even saw the benefit in it. It was just a punishment, a burdening task that I must do to make me and my body fit in.

My partner isn’t a fitness fanatic, but since moving to Wollongong, he has got back into his daily surfing. I used to resent him for going out every morning. He would respond by saying that I could go out too but, again, I never saw a benefit.

I’ve had some tough pregnancies that have done damage to my body, so after my third, exercise wasn’t a choice, it was mandatory so I could regain my strength and mobility. It was no longer about ‘losing weight’, it was more about becoming me again. And, wow, did that shift things. Surprise, surprise, it also helped my mental health.

Prioritising exercise for half an hour a day – an hour if I am lucky – has done wonders for my state of mind. It’s helped me tackle big life decisions, work through difficult times and helped me have alone time – me time.

Looking back, I wish I had seen exercise as an act of self-care much sooner. I wish I hadn't let my negative perceptions of my body get in the way of doing something that has been so transformative for my overall well-being.

To anyone out there who may be struggling with their relationship with exercise, know that you are not alone. It's okay to feel uncertain about it or to struggle to find motivation. But I encourage you to try. Start small and see where it takes you. And at the very least, you’ll get some alone time.