Should parents be involved in school?

I’m new to the whole school thing. My son started kindergarten this year. Before he started, I was keen to join the P&C, intrigued by the in-school reading opportunities and slightly disappointed that they didn’t have a school canteen. But now – I’ll admit it – getting too involved in my child's school feels strange. Will it have a positive or negative impact on my child?

You might think that I am just trying to find reasons to take that additional task off my to-do list. However, two out of three of my kids are shy and my son in kindergarten is extremely shy. So, I want to explore the potential pitfalls of going overboard with school involvement – and give the parents out there feeling the same way a little relief with a different opinion.

I believe that school is a place where kids have the chance to spread their wings and create a space to find themselves, without the guidance and influence of parents. Not that being a P&C member or canteen attendant is a rescue mission but does our presence provide a safety net? Should we take a step back and let our children navigate the sometimes rocky and uncomfortable path of school?

I say embrace the role of supporter, not superhero, and trust that they'll learn and grow from their own experiences—even if it means the occasional homework mishap or forgotten lunchbox.

Recently I caught myself organising a playdate with a kid my son barely talks about. And I thought, “Am I his social diary keeper too? WTF am I doing?” Kids need space to develop their own friendships and navigate social dynamics independently. By micro-managing their social lives, are we inadvertently becoming the puppeteers of their social interactions too?

Is this where the snowflake generation started?

I know we are all well-intentioned but shouldn’t we give our kids the space to forge their own connections, develop their own creativity and problem-solving skills, learn valuable lessons and become who they are without us?

I’m not judging anyone who is involved in their child’s school. All I’m trying to say is, if you’re not – that’s okay too. Surely there are pros and cons to any subject. At least we can all agree that we want our kids to become resilient, self-reliant individuals, equipped with the skills and confidence needed to thrive in the world beyond the school gates.

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