Men's group shines light on stopping domestic violence scourge

The It Starts With Me Today campaign addresses domestic violence in the Illawarra, placing responsibility on men to foster a culture of respect among their community.

Created by Healthier Illawarra Men (HIM) in partnership with Women Illawarra, the campaign aims to address the rising domestic violence rates in the Illawarra by encouraging men to stand up to oppose harmful behaviour.

HIM executive Craig Morris says the campaign carries a simple message.

“The campaign aims to just change the attitudes, get men talking and be upstanders rather than bystanders,” Craig says.

“So if men see or hear other men or boys talking about or behaving badly towards women, to actually have a conversation and encourage better behaviour, rather than just saying, 'it's not me, I'm not doing the wrong thing'.”

It's a situation Craig can relate to with his adult son; Craig recalls the challenge of tackling big issues as a parent.

“It is tricky to talk about these things with your own kids – I've learned a lot since my son's grown up, so I'd be a lot better at it now than I was then,” Craig says.

“The thing to think about when we have those conversations is to not judge and help them to understand the impact of their behaviour – ask them questions to help them work it out for themselves.”

Craig says that the harassment of the She Shapes History tour this year in Wollongong, where a group of boys on e-bikes hurled abuse at a walking tour comprised of women, is exactly what HIM is trying to combat.

“If you're having the conversations and really caring and being empathetic towards the boys to understand what they're going through, how they're dealing with it, because often there's peer pressure,” Craig says.

“Mixing with the right people – it’s a challenge and they want to be part of the team – but sometimes that can lead them astray.

“So if we talk about the She Shapes History incident, it's like ‘what were your thoughts on that? Do you think that’s appropriate?’”

HIM have been running programs in high schools and football clubs for boys aged 14-18 and their parents. Groups are challenged to think about what it means to be a man, their thoughts on women and how they are treated.

The programs have been “a real eye-opener” for attendees, tackling issues “they’d never dealt with before”.

“The feedback we got from participants was overwhelmingly positive,” Craig says.

“Helping young men understand in those formative years is really important for their development.”

The Illawarra recorded the biggest increase in domestic violence attacks in NSW at 12.1 per cent between 2024-25 with a total of 1182 DV assaults last year.

Craig finds the statistics alarming.

“Domestic violence is a scourge on our community,” Craig says,

“It's not going to change overnight, but if we can reduce domestic violence in any way, it's a really positive thing."

The influence of social media and the “manosphere” villainising women can be harmful to young men, so HIM has put an emphasis on e-safety to protect impressionable boys from being affected by negative content online.

More information can be found at healthierillawarramen.org.au/it-starts-with-me-today.